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There it was the most ridiculous thing I could imagine.
A door. A locked door, that seemed to have no other
purpose than to impede my progress. But even in the
simple task of stopping me the door failed. I simply
walked past and continued on my way. A day or two
later I started to get a strange feeling in the back
of my head. I was missing something, something important.
Not daunted in my current task I continued on and
ignored the feeling until… It ended. I was done with
the task at hand and yet even with my success there
remained the feeling of failure. The Door! I forgot
about that stupid door. There it was etched upon my
brain laughing at me from my memories. I must have
walked past it about ten times thinking I would return
later to find a way through it. But NOOOOoooooo, there
it remained closed in all it's glory.
In a vane attempt at redemption I started over retracing
my steps until I came face to face with this bane
of my existence. What was behind it? How would I get
it open? What secrets does it hold? I wish I had some
explosives so I could just blow it up. I felt stupid.
There must be a rational way to open this door I just
need to find it. I tried this. I tried that. Stupid
f-ing door dammit! Yelling at it didn't work either.
It was like looking for a needle in a… well… a big
ass pile of needles. Finally after digging through
a pile of needles I found out that I was…looking in
the wrong pile. My answer lay in an entire other world
from where the door was. I found it in reality. There
it was, plain as day staring me right in the face.
Why wasn't it in the world it belonged? What was it
doing here? But what mattered is that I have it. This,
this, this…er thing. What to call an answer to an
unknown question from an alternate dimension? Who
cares? I had it and it was mine back to the door.
Upon arrival of the door armed with my…thing…the
answer revealed it self. Without a whimper the door
simply opened. I gaped at the new place that opened
before me and how easy it was after all that time.
Stupid f-ing …….NAWBI. This acronym will haunt me
as long as writers endeavor to put secrets into video
games. Need A Walkthrough Bullshit Item is the only
way that I could express my disbelief in the sheer
stupidity of the situation. Video games that contain
secrets that are virtually unsolvable without playing
the game 30 plus times or require you to retrace your
steps to every possible area after reaching a new
area are video games that contain NAWBIs.
Creators of video games must make these things so
they can sell walkthroughs. Either that or it's their
piss poor attempt to create replay value. Maybe people
think they are just being creative when the come off
as just annoying.
If you ever hear me utter the phrase "Stupid NAWBI!"
Realize that I've just discovered a stupid, unfounded
answer in a walkthrough to secret or item in a game
that was so unobvious that it rivals the mysteries
of women. Unfortunately no one ever wrote a walkthrough
for women so that will forever remain a mystery. Video
games on the other hand will always have a place for
answers. Check your nearest book store or gaming website
for details.
-wileee
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